By Dr. Fred DiDomenico

 

 

Having “no agenda” is releasing your thought process about trying to convince a patient to accept your recommendations, or do what you would like them to do in your practice.  The challenge with having an agenda is your thoughts are primarily occupied on what YOU are thinking rather than listening to your patient.  Since selling is really most effective with listening, when you have an agenda occupying your mind, you can’t truly listen to your patient.  The effects of this can be detrimental as you also will not hear their objection.

 

You must be able to hear what they are NOT saying.  Patients and people in general will tell you what they think with their body language when they don’t want to tell you with their words.  In the communication boot camps given by Elite Coaching, we teach the 3 Levels of Listening.  Level 1 is focusing on your thinking, your agenda, your own thoughts and motivations.  Level 2 is watching their body language and listening to their tone.  Over 90% of communication is nonverbal.  Level 2 Listening is VERY effective, since people will SAY what you want to hear and MOVE according to their thinking.  Level 3 is your intuition, awareness and “gut’ feeling.  Level 3 listening is how you hear what they are NOT saying.  You “feel” their emotions behind the words.

 

Many people do not know how to effectively communicate how they feel.  They have difficulty putting feelings into words to effectively express themselves.  When you can hear their emotion, which they may not be communicating with words, and express your understanding of what they FEEL,  you will make an innate connection and establish trust.

 

When a patient FEELS you understand them, you have just built a great foundation for a relationship.  People are more willing to build a relationship rather than just accepting your recommendations. There is an emotional commitment to a relationship that has value to EVERY person, including you with your patients.

 

In order to hear with your intuition, you must be completely clear of thought.  If you have an agenda on your mind, there are too many thoughts in your head that will inhibit you from being able to hear or feel your intuition or watch their body language: there’s just too much noise in your head.  That noise is your own voice trying to convince a person to do what you want as a personal motivation.  You’re too busy thinking of the next statement rather than listening to the patient to know how to handle their objection.

 

Level 3 Listening is more feeling than it is hearing.  Words and tone have energy.  You can literally FEEL the energy in their words and tone.  You can hear frustration, sadness, hopelessness, anger, resistance, as well as excitement, inspiration, hope and more.  Based on what you feel and hear, you can guide the patient and help them reveal their true emotional impression for their condition and how it is affecting their body and life.  They will have more confidence in you as a person by the way you relate to them and interpret their emotions for them.  As their doctor, when you communicate in this manner, they will feel more connected and trusting toward you.

 

How do you listen with your intuition?  To listen on Level 3, you must clear your mind.  Your spirit and your mind must be one:  you are listening with your intuition, your innate instinct.  As you are communicating with your patient, you are completely focused on the person and how they are responding to what you say.

 

Words, thought and intention are all energy.  As you communicate, you are watching and FEELING how they are receiving your communication.  They will move, speak and emphasize tone according to how they feel about what you just communicated.  They may not consciously realize it, but they are doing the same with you.  They are FEELING your communication as well.   When your innate language is the same as theirs, they will feel a deep connection with you. 

 

In addition, you will interpret their emotions for them by helping them become clearer about how they feel. Since people buy with emotion, this is very important as an influential communication tool. Taking the time to listen on a deeper level with present time consciousness (PTC) is something we all strive for in a relationship.  It’s also something many people don’t find in their personal relationships, a person that knows how to hear and understand them.  If you desire to have more new patients following your recommendations, learn to listen.

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